Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Clint Eastwood and my existential crisis

I saw the movie EverAfter yesterday, directed by Clint Eastwood. I will admit about an hour in, I was quite confused and wondering when Mr. Eastwood was going to wrap this this thing up in the nice little bow that should be coming in. Don't get me wrong the movie was fascinating to watch. It had destruction, depression, drugs, ya know the 3 D's every great movie should have. The majority of the movie was spent detailing the lives of the three main characters. The film had me guessing what was in store for us. How were these characters going to meet and make this movie come together. The three story lines had my full attention. The acting was incredible, you really felt like you were there with those people, going through their lives and crisis'. It really was hard to watch such suffering, and sadness. It was quite heavy at some points, I felt a bit uncomfortable sharing these feelings with the characters. Luckily the movie indeed did wrap itself up in the nice little bow. The overall plot is simple; Everything happens for a reason. This concept is by no means new to me or to any of you, but it does make you think. It kind of lends to an openness about life and all of its obstacles. Even the craziest most fucked up things can happen to you, but somewhere down the line it made your whole life better. It makes me feel like there is no need to worry about anything at all. The universe has us all set up and ready to go. Ride the wave of life, its going to take you where your meant to go, so you might as well enjoy the ride.

This movie also made me think of the opposite concept; death. I think about death probably just as much as the next person; not that often. I mean don't misunderstand me, I know I am going to die one day. That is the one fact in life I have accepted fully. Today I actually thought about dying, the actual process of it all. Laying there at some moment in time, and just letting it all go and dying. That would be it. What would that feel like? What would I be thinking when it happens? Would I be scared, or would I be in tune enough to accept my fate? How about the people I will be leaving behind. That freaks me out to be honest. Everyday life goes on and everyday people die. Its wild. Yes, yes this isn't a new thought, its just real. We are all going to die and what are we doing with our time? Are we even remembering what we did today? Who we talked to? What we felt? How do weeks and months just fly by us? We get so caught up in life, but are we living? Are you living? Sometimes I will admit I don't feel like I am living. I am just going through the day, waiting for the next one to come. This is no way to live, and I have decided to no longer do that. It is high time to get it together and live life to the fullest. I want to lay there when I die and know I did all I could and all I wanted to do. Sorry about the rant, these are just my thoughts and I am sharing them with you. Do you want to share with me? I love discussing this kinda stuff...obviously.

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